Men and Sex: It’s Between the Head and the Heart

There are so many references to men thinking with the “wrong head.Then there is the miracle Viagra cure for male erectile dysfunction. Doesn’t it seem that men should feel a bit “objectified” in all this?

In reality, when men make life decisions, it is usually for similar reasons as women. Take infidelity for example: Men are rarely unfaithful for just the sex. Read any of the countless books and blogs about affairs. Men tend to be unfaithful because they are searching for validation, appreciation, and justification. Men tend to need stroking, not just the kind we typically think they need. When a guy loads the dishwasher once a week; they want us to notice and thank them. Now you may think “why should I thank him, it’s not like I haven’t loaded the dishes the other 20 times, and washed the clothes and cooked dinner?” Still they need to hear a thank you, get a hug or even more, so just do it – it matters.

On the other hand, if a man, especially middle-age or older and with heart disease risk factors [high cholesterol, high blood pressure, diabetes, obesity, smoking, or family history of heart attacks/stroke] begins having trouble performing in bed or doesn’t wake up with Mr. happy, the first thought going through our minds should not be “they don’t find me attractive anymore, our relationship has lost it‘s spark, he’s just not into me (literally)”. The first thought should be to make an appointment with a doctor and discuss the possibility of heart disease. Because the way a man gets an erection is based onthe blood vessels in the penis. These small vessels can get “hardening of the arteries” forgive the pun here. If these arteries have blockages, so do the heart arteries, which can lead to a heart attack? In many cases, erectile dysfunction is the first sign of heart disease or diabetes and not relationship issues. Let’s face it ladies, our bodies change in mid-life and so do theirs. The days of us walking out of the bathroom naked, and Mr. happy rising to attention in 5 seconds, are probably behind us. I mean we need warming up and so do our men.

When it comes to sex, men aren’t simple. We’ve just been lured into believing that because there is a little blue pill for them. In reality when it comes to men and sexual function, it really is between the head and the heart.

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