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Sexual Health Matters

In honor of menopause awareness month I decided to update and share a list of 15 things you should know about about sexual health.



1.     “I am a sexual being”

Most of us have many different roles in life such as wife, mother, caregiver, and friend. The busy pace causes us to forget about our inner sexual self. Move sexuality up on the priority list or at the very least put it on the list!

2.    Menopause impacts sexual function.

The loss of estrogen which occurs after menopause contributes to vaginal dryness, pain and irritation during sex. Women find becoming lubricated and achieving orgasm is more difficult during and after the menopause transition Low-dose topical estrogen, which is safe for the majority of women, can be applied to the vagina just 2 or 3 times a week and can make a big difference – consider it a vitamin for the vagina. Talk to your healthcare provider to see if vaginal estrogen is right for you.

3.    Men may undergo midlife changes.

In midlife and after, erection can be more difficult to achieve and maintain and earlyclimax can be common. Men can be devastated psychologically by these changes and begin avoid any touching or intimacy for fear it will lead to sex. Don’t let this proceed in silence. Talk to your mate or, if that is not an option, ask your mate to see a doctor to discuss.

4.    A change in sexual performance can indicate underlying health issues.

The inability to achieve or maintain erection and, in women, inability to become lubricated or achieve orgasm can be signs of other issues such as medication side effects or disease processes such as heart disease, diabetes or depression. So don’t talk yourself into the fact that the inability to have a satisfying sexual experience is a  “normal” part of aging.

5.    Vaginal lubricants – buy some

Vaginal dryness can make a pleasurable experience unbearable to the point of stopping. The more a woman focuses on becoming lubricated during an encounter performance anxiety can set in thus dooming the encounter. Applying the lubricant in front of your partner or having them apply it can add to a sensual experience.

6.    Sexy is fun!

Go out and buy something sexy/feminine/pretty, maybe a dress or new lingerie. Pamper yourself and think about how your mate and you will respond when you wear the new purchase

7.    Women are more likely to be sexual when they feel loved and respected

If you do not feel fulfilled in other areas of the relationship you are less likely to want to give your body to that person.  Getting help with household chores or the children can go a long way in improving the chance that a woman willdesire a sexual encounter.

8.    There is no age limit to being both sexual and sexually active.

In fact, being mature and confident is very sexy to others.

9.    Sleep is vital.

A rested woman has the energy to focus on important relationships and sex is a physical sport.

10. If you are past menopause talk to your doctor about vaginal estrogen.

      I consider vaginal estrogen the vitamin for the vagina – vaginal tissue thins out   after menopause. This can lead to itching and burning and sometimes bleeding  after intercourse. There are several types of estrogen creams and even an estrogentablet for the vagina. The FDA recently approved daily pill for vaginal          thinning. This therapy is taken by mouth.

11. Women often require more foreplay and stimulation to become aroused to the point of climax (orgasm).

If your partner finishes too soon you will end up without complete satisfaction. Most men avoid discussing this but it needs to be addressed and corrected so BOTH partners are satisfied.

12. Practice active listening with your mate.

A woman’s mind is a multitasking machine. Focus on your mate and be truly interested in what is going on in their lives. Find at least 15 minutes a day without distraction to talk with your mate – and FOCUS on them.

13. Add romance back to your life.

Spontaneously leave notes, cards, and/or small gifts for your mate. A sticky note on the mirror that says "Thinking about you today" or "Your love makes me smile" can mean a lot.

14. What does a woman have in common with an elephant – we never forget!

Don’t dwell on the past. This doesn't mean a couple won't need to address negative patterns or hurtful events in the relationship. Do this with open communication. A qualified family counselor can help if you feel you are not making progresstoward a rewarding positive relationship.

15.  Hug longer and enjoy the experience

The average length for a hug is less than 15 seconds! Count the next time you hug your mate. One minute can make a big difference. I know what you are thinking  ladies, as soon as you hug him for more than 2 seconds his hands start wondering to the various “B” places (bottom and breasts).

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